No white after Labor Day

Hello blogging world. It is I, the elusive writer who posted at least once a week for 4 months and then just disappeared into a black hole of lingerie never to be heard of again. I’m not sure if I had regular followers but if I did I apologize. This working stuff has taken up a lot more of my time than I expected and during the time when I’m not working, I can usually be found in my bed with half of a glass of wine in my hand that is getting dangerously close to spilling all over my comforter because I’ve fallen asleep trying to finish the same episode of Californication for the 10th time (I will stay awake for you this time David Duchovny, I will!) Today though is the 5th day of which I am suffering from a lovely summer flu so I have had plenty of time to catch up on Californication and all of the stressing I needed to do concerning the over-cluttered state of my room. Being confined to a room where you can’t turn your head without seeing at least 20 items of clothing is enough to send anyone to the loony bin. I now know how hoarders feel and i’ve come to decision that they never leave their homes because they are just constantly trying to decide how to arrange everything. I only have one room to freak out over, they have whole homes! I just cannot even imagine…

Anyways, for my “I have returned but I may not write after this until the next time I’m sick so don’t get too excited” article, I have decided to write about the difference between the north and the south in terms of what is considered appropriate to wear after Labor Day. When my “Southern Wedding” article was so well received, I decided maybe I should just write about what I know and I know Southern fashion. Hence the reason you rarely see me following their rules. No offense Southerners, you all look lovely and definitely have your own style, I just don’t think it looks good on me. Lilly Pulitzer and I do not suit each other, much to my mother’s dismay, but trust me when I say I’m more than comfortable with it. If I could wear Helmut Lang leather jackets, T by Alexander Wang t-shirts, Rag & Bone jeans, and my black Zara booties all year round, I would. Sorry getting off topic.

In the south, summer is the time to wear as much color, white, linen, and seersucker as possible. People in the south wear color all year round but after Easter they really start to pile it on. Bright pink bow ties with lime green shirts? Sure! Sunshine yellow blouses with brightly printed floral full skirts? Why not?! Blue seersucker suits everyday of the week? Have at it! Too much is never enough. I may be taking this a bit over the line but compared to New York, it’s what I see. In New York, people actually start to wear color in the summer. Yes, there are those amazing, rare, fashion forward, unicorn men who will wear their perfectly tailored blue suits with their suspenders and dark purple velvet Tom Ford loafers all year round and look fabulous doing it. For the rest of us though, try going out in a color besides black, brown, beige, or any other form of those in New York before the temperature hits 80 degrees and you’ll stand out more than a straight guy in Chelsea (buh dun ch!). I should know, when I first moved here my roommate made her boyfriend come into my room to show him how colorful my closet was. She was in awe. I, on the other hand, took one look at her closet and after separating the all black wardrobe to see that she did in fact own different pieces of clothing and not just one, huge, extravagant, black coat, I decided I needed to go shopping to expand the “black” in my wardrobe. When I go home to visit now I get stared at just like I did when I first moved to New York and decided to be brave and venture out in color in September (won’t do that again), BUT when that does happen, I just use another little trick I have picked up while living in New York: I pretend that you do not exist all the while silently judging…

Now, to the age old rule that if you disobey in the south (Quelle horreur!) the good lord himself might as well step down from Heaven and send you to fashion hell right then and there: No white after Labor Day. I think that this fashion “rule” once used to apply everywhere…like before 1920 when women weren’t allowed to vote and we couldn’t even buy alcohol to drown our sorrows over it. Wearing white after Labor Day is the equivalent of buying your sweet tea at a store and not home brewing it yourself (we will find the plastic McAlister’s jugs in the trash…). You just cannot do it. Hell, I’m scared to do it myself. I cannot imagine going to an Ole Miss football game wearing a white dress. I assume that the minute I stepped foot into The Grove, I would be so covered in Jack Daniels, coke, and sausage cheese balls that I would never be able to show my face in oxford again (I’d also probably be in the shower the rest of the season anyways). There is this part of me that clicks on as soon as I cross the Mason Dixon line, the southern part of me, that immediately wants a couple shots of whiskey, reminds me to say mam’ and sir, and knows not to wear white outside if it’s after September 1st. It’s like ingrained in me and I cannot escape it.

In the north however, this rule has not existed for quite some time. For as long as I can remember, every issue of every magazine that prints after the Fall/Winter shows have been presented has had a “winter whites” or whatever section. White is no longer just for the warmer months and why should it be? Everyone seems to love wearing white so much once summer hits, why would you want to limit something you love when you don’t have to? Also, just stating, snow is white. Are you scared you’re going to fall in and never be heard from again? It doesn’t even snow in the south most of the time! I think you’ll be fine. I can understand the seersucker and linen thing because those are lighter fabrics and provide men with the ability to still wear suits in the summer without completely melting. White though is just the absence of color. So in my opinion, while I’m in the north and not in danger of being taken out by a piece of fried chicken, wear white. Go for it. I won’t judge…well maybe silently…

All images from Fall/Winter 2014 runway on style.com.